Mar 2019
Donut from ESPY Bakehouse

Australians love to shorten words; the laid back attitude of their lifestyle replicated in their vocabulary. If an “-o”  or a “-y” can be added on to the end of a word, that’s even better. Some examples include: an alcoholic beverage store becomes a bottle-o, kindergarten becomes kindy, afternoon becomes arvo – I’m sure you get the picture. So, what a mystery it was trying to figure out what ESPY stood for.

In the end, I concluded that ESPY was someone’s nickname – likely a female, perhaps a lady-owner called Elspeth. I was wrong, and it was my (Australian-native) husband who pointed out that ESPY was simply short for ‘esplanade’. Esplanade is not a common word used in the English language, and it sounds like a term perhaps from the Victorian era. For me, esplanade brings to mind a wide, wooden and tasteful walkway along the seaside; white and red striped awnings adorning pretty white shops with tempting glass displays, and ladies with parasols on the arms of gentlemen in top hats.

ESPY Bakehouse, Christies Beach
ESPY Bakehouse,
Esplanade, Christies Beach
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The image in my head wasn’t too far off. The bakery sat on prime sea-frontage location at Christies Beach near a boardwalk and barrier with steps leading down to a sandy beach. This walkway, I presume, was the esplanade in which the bakery was named after. The bakery was a large store, quite modernised, with an army of bakers and servers visible out the back. The goods were displayed on wooden boards on glass shelves, which in a smaller bakery would have been appealing, but in such a large space looked a bit sparse.

Interior decor aside, the goods on display looked fit for giants. They had a wonderful selection of huge donuts on display, stacked up against one another, as well as what must be the world’s largest finger buns. The lamingtons on offer looked like they were made to house small children, the other goods equally out of proportion to a normal bakery selection. In addition to your iced and sprinkled donuts, they also had some glazed donuts – and I am a sucker for a plain old glazed! So, taking two donuts to go, we hopped across the road to the beach – just about managing to finish the donuts between us.

Aesthetics 4

Let's be honest, not the prettiest donut going. The donut was tall rather than wide and the diameter was incredibly thick. The icing was smudged and dented from being leant on by other donuts in the display. The sprinkles on top appeared to be the end of the bag and quite crumbly. The chocolate icing was lumpy and dark.

Topping 4

The icing was not a nice chocolate flavour, but tasted of the overly-fake chocolate flavour I wish was banned from all distributors. The sprinkles were soft and tasted older and stale.

Dough 8

The dough was nice and tasted freshly of yeast. There was a good salt balance, although it could have been a touch sweeter, but with such a sweet icing it all balanced out. On the palate you could taste the oil in which the donut was fried – neither a good or a bad thing, just noticeable.

Texture 7

The dough was soft and a little on the stale side. The oil on your fingers left a mess as did the stickyness of the icing. The sprinkles were also soft but provided some crunch.



Not Offensive

The donut was rich, a little stale, and a little bit too much for me. I had high hopes for the glazed donut, which looked more appealing, but it was moist, spongy and even stickier.

  • Aesthetics: 4
  • Topping: 4
  • Dough: 8
  • Texture: 7

Where Next?